NEWSBREAKERS is a nonpartisan media watchdog group. It offers comment and critique on the role of television news in informing the public. The group relies on parody and non-traditional media transformations and interventions.

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JD Rozz - Anchor Desk
"It's important to know when to flash a million-dollar smile or deliver the troubled, somber face. I understand that while not everything I report matters to me, it probably matters to someone, and if I can reach that one person by using the most up-to-date faces and gestures, then I can go home with a sense of accomplishment. That way the news really does make a difference."

Hands, eyebrows, teeth. It's JD's mantra, and living by those three simple words has delivered him from the jaws of a humble destiny to the central hub of the NEWSBREAKERS Communication Center. Among a seemingly endless list of prestigious awards, his resume includes six Emmys, a Pulitzer Prize, two Grammys and a Darwin.
e-mail: JD_Rozz(at)

Norm Weathers - Meteorology
"For every poor schlump whose inclement weather-related automotive misfortune has become the material for a reporter's story, we return the airwaves to the people, one unraveled story at a time."

Following in the path of his given name, Norm has experienced much weather, has often been in weather, and has seen a lot of weather. Every day, he goes outside and sees what the weather is, in order to report it accurately to the viewer. He has been awarded the coveted "NBKS" award for the most well-structured teleprompter writing two years running.
e-mail: Norm_Weathers(at)

Buck "Lucky" Owens - Senior Political Correspondent
"We reporters are nuts. Nuts and bolts who aspire to be pulleys and levers in the news machine. A machine driven by a handful of media barons determined to deliver not only your eyeballs, but your very innards to advertisers. Advertisers dead set on selling you, quite literally, anything. Anything allowed by the FCC culture cops, who seem to think getting their panties in a wad over Janet Jackson's boob is synonymous with getting the job the done. Good government? Good grief!"

Buck recently burned his Communist Party membership card and is now a registered Libertarian.
e-mail: Buck_Owens(at)

Dizzy Monk - Entertainment/Religion Reporter
"I carry on the tradition set forth by my "father," a celibate monk who often drank too much and thrilled the monastic community with his drunken antics. Like him, I fuse religion and entertainment in a way that often leaves me with an illegitimate child."

Dizzy Monk understands entertainment. When Enrique Iglesias makes a trip to Morocco to search for his long lost grandfather, Dizzy's going to let you know. If Sandra Bullock makes a movie about a midwestern American housewife who falls for a lovable news anchor, maybe played by Tom Hanks, Dizzy will stop at nothing to bring you the real story that inspired the film. He promises. Like the time Gloria Estafan wrote a book with her dog. Dizzy did the interview…with the dog! And he knows a lot about God, too!
e-mail: Dizzy_Monk(at)

Ted Michaels - Sports
"Freedom isn't free. It costs $29.95 a month. The first two months are 50% off, and you get free HBO."

When Ted isn't covering the sport of NEWSBREAKERS, he's a very confused individual. TV told him to buy duct tape and canned goods. Now Ted's home is filled with rolls of tape he'll never use. He has since donated the canned goods to Dick Parsons.
e-mail: Ted_Michaels(at)